Cyberterrorists Hacked into Chick-fil-A’s Radio, Changing the CCM Muzak to Popular Secular Love Songs

As the nation’s economy began to reopen, and Chick-fil-A lobbies once again allowed guests to enter, people realized that something was different. The familiar instrumental tunes that guests had grown to love had been changed.

This change was not the work of a clever marketing scheme, but rather the work of cyberterrorist hackers. These cyberterrorists hacked into Chick-fil-A’s streaming radio database and replaced the entire CCM Muzak playlist with instrumental versions of secular love songs.

Instead of “In The Light”, “Oceans”, and “Shine”, guests were subjected to songs like Taylor Swift’s “Cinderella Story”, Ed Sheeran’s “Perfect”, and Journey’s “Midnight Train”.

It is unclear whether guests noticed the depths of the change, but many reported enjoying the new playlist through their survey responses. “The new songs were great!” one guest noted. Another posed the question, “Would you release the titles of the new playlist? I would like to let my worship pastor know of this new material.”

The executives at Chick-fil-A in charge of maintaining the Muzak database continue to work 24/6 trying to get to the bottom of the sophisticated attack. However, it is worth noting that by some flaw in the hacker’s algorithm, the new playlist still includes Jamie Grace’s “I Love the Way You Hold Me.”